I tried to find the brave soul that pushed this cart from the local supermarket, up the icy streets, in the path of every soccer mom and california transplant with an SUV, (keep in mind that the sidewalks haven't been cleared yet), then left it to rust. I had no luck in finding this soul, and am left to assume that after having steadfastfully carted whatever goods it valiantly carried to a neighboring apartment, this cart was left to its own course, hopefully to end up back at its origin. The local safeway. Godspeed, my friend, godspeed.
With another storm due to hit in a matter of hours, i feel like i am in a bad Dennis Quaid movie. I watch the news reports, expecting to hear the news that the mass migration has begun, and that i should stay out of the eye of the storm, lest i should be frozen solid in my tracks. The reality is, we have gotten a buttload of snow the last couple of weeks, at least 4-5 feet here in the city, and i am left to make my way amongst the die-hards, of which i consider myself a member, the guys with big trucks and soccer moms with SUV's, but that don't know how to drive them in inclement conditions, and the so called (by myself), "new nevadans."
Let's start with the last group, the "new nevadans." This group is made up of the sudden and recent influx of northern californians, who, despite having never driven in the snow, apart from an occasional trip up to the Sierra Nevada to ski or snowboard, have purchased Ford SUV's, built for northern california, Ford tough. This group has had to brave torrential rainstorms and the intermittent snow flurry, whilst living in the bay area, and believes that snow chains will solve all problems. These chains, and their appurtenant 15-25 mph top speed, will stay on until July 4th, or so. These people are not necessarily the dangerous ones, although their wide eyes do seem to serve as beacons as I motor by them after they slide off the road, and stand, cell phones in hand, awaiting assistance.
Next comes the guys with big trucks and soccer moms. The guys with big trucks, and you know the type, with the 8"-12" lift, and 12" wide mudder tires, have purchased and built the "ultimate off-road vehicle." What they do not grasp is the fact that with the widest tires you can buy, you do not get the "ultimate" traction in the snow and ice, but you get what effectively becomes a buggy with big tires that "float" on top of the snow and ice, and create a dangerously slippery combination. Not that that keeps them from blowing by everyone at 50 mph, with their Oakleys on, oblivious to the patch of ice around the corner that will send them into the "embarrasment ditch," only to have to call their buddies with the '71 chevy with the skinny tires to come pull them out. The soccer mom's only sin is that their softball-playing husband has graciously bought them (or bought for himself, but still drives the '71 chevy to work) the suburban or excursion. They motor along, on the cell phone, and all of a sudden are sliding into the ditch along the road, and they don't understand why they have put all their money into a vehicle built for family safety in all condtions, and can't get their kids to day care on time, because you can't drive 50 mph on an icy road. Onstar?
Finally comes the hard-core guys. I know i am a young buck, and haven't seen a snowfall unless i was in Nak-Nak, Alaska, in the mid 1950's, and had to fly a plane into 8 feet of drifting snow in the middle of a blizzard, onto a runway cleared from between two towering cliffs, with no radio or altimeter, at night. (True story, according to Kenny.) But i do remember the trips to harvest the Christmas tree, when each family, at the direction of dad, had to get out and chain up the truck (or Land Rover, which didn't really need chains, but didn't want to make the other trucks feel bad), and the convoy would motor on. At a reasonable speed, with the safety of everyone considered. And i remember lessons learned about driving in the elements, whether anyone knew i was watching or not. So i set out each morning, 4-wheel drive engaged, if need be, and i go out to see what is happening about town. I drive by the "new nevadans" (see above) and the "guys with big trucks" (see above) and the "soccer moms" (see above), and motor on my way to work, or the mall, or wherever i need to go. I pull up along side any good 'ol boy, and give him a familiar look, one of recognition, and pull away from the stoplight, inching ahead in the ice and snow, until i reach a speed that seems comfortable, one that won't send me careening off the road or into the motorist beside me, and i look beside me and see the good 'ol boy beside me, and think, keep on truckin, friend, keep on truckin.
Until my cell phone rings, and someone needs pulled out of a ditch. I was going to go to work, or the mall, or wherever i needed to go. Get out the chains and the gloves. Crazy kids.
Ford girl. Built Ford tough. She's paid for, the warranties are up, and yet she gets me wherever I need to go, no questions asked. I am beginning to think, with the right set of tires, a set of chains, a pair of gloves, and a shovel, there's no place i couldn't drive at least close to. (hope this doesn't jinx us).
Promise an update from the land of 19' snow, (may be 21' by morning) as soon as I can get away to get up the hill...
